To Dad, or not to Dad.

Our little family has been debating names lately.  What to CALL the new stepdad?  Stepdad is ridiculous, Mr so and so is WAY too formal, yet my older children have not been comfortable calling him dad.  Up until now he has been called by his first name, but is beginning to struggle with that.  Firstly, he finds it a bit disrespectful, coming from a time when children NEVER addressed adults solely by their christian name (understandable), secondly, as none of his children live with us he feels a bit out on a limb by himself.

What to do?  The two youngest aged 3 and 4 are being encouraged to call him dad and we are trialling encouraging the older two (9 & 11) to do the same.  They seem ok, just needing time to get used to the idea.  I'm still getting used to everything myself so...we will give it a go.  I would love to know what other stepfamilies  have ended up doing.

Stepfamily theme

I am changing the direction of this blog slightly.  The focus has been on my own walk up till now, and there will obviously still be elements of that in here.  I want to mainly focus on our family journey from two fractured families, to (hopefully), one large healed family.

So...brief background.  DH is 42 and has been a Christian since he was old enough to know what one was.  I am 34 and have been saved since I was 15 years old.  We were both married for over a decade, he has five children and I have four. Yes, nine children altogether :) my four live with us and don't really have contact with their father, his five all now live with their mother five hours drive away.

We married three months ago and it has been TOUGH!!!  It's not really the kids that have been the problem, but me.  I am battling memories, expectations, emotions, tiredness.....praise God I am married to a patient man LOL! 

I would love to hear from any others out there who are walking this slightly different but rewarding road.  Godbless!

Update....

Well, the dating thing went well.  So well in fact, that I married my lovely husband three months ago.  He has five children who do not live with us, and this lovely man has taken my four children under his wing.  Remarriage is a whole other ballgame to a first marriage.  We have both come into it much more wary than we would have expected, and are constantly having to readjust our preconceived ideas.  We have read some great books however.  Boundaries in Marriage by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and Happily remarried by David and Lisa Frisbee.  God willing we will come through this adjustment time with a strong marriage that will be able to inspire others.  Our wedding was small and intimate but still very special.  It was hard that a lot of our friends and family didn't feel the level of joy that we feel, it is understandable though with so much grief and hurt just below the surface.